Let’s start by addressing the Elephant in the room. “Hi Elephant. My name is Brad Fittler. I’m not sure if you’re real or not, but I did decide to #lightitup and burn a few down, both pre and post game.”
Now, that that’s out of they way, let’s talk about what a cracking game was witnessed by billions of NRL fans around the universe, the 2-3000 Roosters fans at the ground and all the other Roosters fans at the Swans game. Relying on a cliche (a stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality) this really was a game of two halves.
The reigning premiers has been threatening to put on a display for a while now, and they were quick out of the gate in the first half with some rewarding play. The Roosters defence forced Thurston to run on the 4th on a few occasions and when he did get to a kick, Jarvier Warrier Halfaves was always there to put on a late legal shot. Mitchell Pearce was the beneficiary of good timing and safe hands to stroll 80 metres from a kick reception for the opening try. Much maligned Pearce has had a stellar 6 weeks of football and he ran the ball with purpose and asked questions of the Cowboys in the first half. The platform was in the pack by the dangerous Sam Moa, whose tree trunk legs kept pumping past the advantage line. The relatively inexperienced Cowboys right edge of Moga and Feldt was targeted by James Maloney, with tries to Jennings and Tupou outside of him and a brace himself.
The Cowboys didn’t look particularly bad in the first 30 minutes besides struggling to get to a competent kick on a few occasions and Michael Morgan looking to have a post-footy career as a butcher (#sausagefingers). Thurston decided that having some points before the orange break would be beneficial, so decided to lay on a pair of tries to Rob Lowe’s son Ethan and JT’s left edge bromance Gavin Cooper.
30-12 would have brought two different sets of sheds at half time. Trent Robinson would have been pleased to have a healthy lead and had time to put some concealer and foundation on his shiny, shiny face. Paul Green, provided a more light hearted approach. Aware that he looks vaguely like actor Martin Short, Green would launch into impressions of Franc from “Father of the Bride” and pretend to interview players as Martin Short alter-ego “Jiminy Glick”.
His improvised comedy stylings seemed to have worked with a different performance from the Cowboys side to begin the second half. Thurston and Lui had more time and space to strategise with the platform laid by their forward pack. Jason Taumalolo has kicked on since being moved to the middle of the park and his big frame was hard to handle for the Roosters, making big metres all night. Matt Scott is surely also the best prop in the world, and it was fitting that he slowly trudged for 5 metres, carrying all of the Roosters team on his back to get the try that leveled the game.
With the scores locked at 30 all, the game reached a bit of a stalemate with both teams taking turns to make it look like they were slowly turning the territory battle. Eventually, without any controversy, knock-ons from SBW or Robert Lui or shepherds by SKD, James Maloney set himself up for the one-pointer that would launch a million diatribes north of the border and ensure all of us have to endure a week on Channel 9 performing simultaneous fellatio on SBW and Sam Burgess before their upcoming clash. God save us all.
Roosters 31 d Cowboys 30