Season Preview 2017 – Sydney Roosters

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Sydney Roosters11 Reason why Roosters will win the NRL Premiership this year. (You guys like Buzzfeed, right?)

 

 

 

1. Pearce dating Birds, not Beasts.

Mitchell Pearce

LBTF’s advice: Get the uber app, Pearcey. Its cheaper than a cab and its definitely cheaper than the subsequent fine you will incur if you hang around at that apartment party.

2. No one saying anything bad to Keary, ever again.

Luke Keary

LBTF’s advice: Get that boy some headgear! Not only will it prolong his career by avoiding brain bleeding, it will protecting from stray fists from club owners who are not subject to that same fighting rules as players.

3. This guy, right?

Fergy Ferg

LBTF’s advice: Give this guy a copy of Mavis Beacon. Not only to improve post NRL career skills but keeps his digits busy after hours.

4. We will see a lot of T-red-nt Robinson

Trednt Robinson

LBTF’s advice: Just like female Baboons butts, the more red they are, the more fertile they are. Fertility can only be good, right?

5. So red.

So So Red

 6. Qld jersey = Happy Napa

Happy Napa

 7. Haaaaappppppyyyyyyyy

Haaapppppyyy

LBTF’s advice: Delete the Uber app from Napa’s phone so he can’t head out while in camp for Qld.

 8. Skids; not so happy

Sad Skids

 9. Matt King is now on board at the Roosters

God

LBTF’s advice: What more advice do you give to a man who has done it all? This premiership is a lock!

 10. Daniel Tupou returning to the form which had him selected for the Blues

Daniel Tupou

LBTF’s advice: Get him a pair of those calf isolating shoes from Seinfeld so his vertical leap goes to the next level. Then just bomb the shit out of his wing. Top try scorer for the Roosters this year.

 11. Jarrheid Waereehagh Hardgrevaese

Spelling Bee

LBTF’s advice: Direct him to listen to our podcast. The rage built from all the misspellings will make him unstoppable.

 

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