Season Preview 2016 – Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles

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Manly-Warringah Sea EaglesIt’s barely six weeks into 2016 and already the Manly coach has had a public whinge. There’s got to be an investigation into this. Even with a change in personnel from Toovey to Barrett, already triple-0 has been called and the waaahhh-mbulance sent out. It got me thinking that there must literally be something wrong with the coaches office on the northern peninsula. Des Hasler probably dumped fish heads in the air-conditioning before he left or perhaps put itching powder on the seat.

Speaking of shonky facilities, teams are going to hate travelling to Brookvale in 2016, and it’s not due to the traditional reason of needing to take a turpentine bath to get rid of the smell of faecal matter. For a team that cries poor at times, the Sea Eagles can sure buy themselves out of a hole. Bob Fulton has opened the cheque book and recruited some big guns. In the case of Marty Tapau, he was literally purchased because of his big guns. That and the Sea Eagles are wary of going under their dreadlock quota if Steve Matai can’t be sticky taped together one last time.

Nate Myles has also signed up. He is apparently good mates with DCE, but the biggest factor in choosing Manly is that he thinks he plays better in a maroon jersey. He was also sick of the shitty parking at Harbour Town outlets and the fact that the Titans have to train on the driving range of a golf course.

Dylan Walker deferred his studies into human biochemistry and decided to play some footy again. As fun as it was watching 50 Shades of Grey with Aaron Gray, he felt there was periods when he was contracted to Souths where days would disappear and everytime you woke up from a “nap” you had to hold a press conference. He also heard Souths were going to hold an off-season camp at Russell Crowe’s property in Nana Glen and he couldn’t be fucked sticking up for Luke Keary.

Perhaps the most underrated signing for the Sea Eagles is Lewis Brown. Perhaps it is Tim Moltzen (no…it’s definitely Lewis Brown). These recruits will add to the current Manly roster like a perfectly rolled dice in a board game. Like DCE collecting Gold Coast rent money in ‘Monopoly’. Like the Trbojevic’s using their own name in ‘Scrabble’. Like the team doctor fixing Steve Matai using the game ‘Operation’.

Sea Eagles to soar high in 2016.

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