Season Preview 2016 – Gold Coast Titans

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Gold Coast TitansLike the Titans of the proverbs by which the Rugby League team is named, Gold Coast seem to be immortal.

When you scroll through the laundry list of bullshit the club has gone through over the last few years, you would be scratching your head as to how the club is still kicking. But much like a pair of silicon breasts hanging from an aging Gold Coast bikini babe, the team keeps bouncing.

Neil Henry is the right man to get this team into swimsuit pageant shape. While never tasting huge success as a coach, he is one man who can take a bunch of misfits and turn them into a reputable side, as seen with his time at Canberra and Cowboys. The “back against the wall” attitude created from all the clubs issues could be used to good effect for the Titans, as long as that wall isn’t crammed full of jars of urine.

Signing players seems like a particularly difficult task for the Titans. Firstly, missing out on DCE put their recruitment into disarray, with correction of the flight path only coming through Tyrone Roberts, who produces at least one blinder of a game per year. Next, the signatures they do have come under scrutiny of potential forgery as seen with the loss of James Roberts due to a signature mishap. I thought James Roberts signed everything under his pseudonym “Scott Clark”?

Lastly, the Titans final blow came with the recent injury to their young half Kane Elgey. As soon as the sound of the rupturing of Kane’s anterior cruciate ligament hit the ears of coach Henry, he was on the phone trying to contact Scott Prince, offering up as many 3 bedroom houses as Scott wanted to entice him out of retirement. Fortunately, Ash Taylor picked up the phone before Prince and was offered the spot at halfback at the cost of only a studio apartment.

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