Season Preview 2016 – Cronulla Sutherland Sharks

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Cronulla SharksThe big question on everyone’s lips this year is: “Who will be Cronulla’s 5/8”?

You would think their incumbent 5/8 Jack Bird would get the first shot after being named 2015 Dally M Rookie of the year. However, Shane Flanagan has taped a number 1 on Birds back with some duct tape he found in his office draw. This number could slowly peel off during the season moving Jack back to his preferred position, depending on the brand of tape. Remember coaches, always use Scotch (kickbacks).

So if Jack Bird is supposedly moving to fullback, then that leaves two real contenders for the 5/8 jersey (no Gallen, you can’t play in the halves, EVER!). It should be noted that Wade Graham was not considered as a candidate for 5/8, even though Wikipedia says he is. Trolls these days.

Firstly, its the boomerang Chad Townsend. Being stuck behind the preferred halfs in Albert Kelly and Todd Carney in his previous time at Cronulla, Chad moves back from the Warriors having shown that he can avoid annoying Port Macquarie police and pissing into his own mouth.

The next possible candidate is James Maloney. When you think one past Warrior half isn’t enough, you go and purchase yourself another. James starred for the Roosters in his time there and will add experience to an already very experienced squad (yes Gallen, you are getting old). Not having to carry Mitchell Pearce through games may come as a shock to Maloney and how he reacts is anyones guess. My guess is gleeful abandon.

Whoever plays 5/8 for the Sharks will have a solid forward pack in front of them, and young backs finishing the hard work with elusive speed found only through rigorous training running from police on nights out in Brisbane.

And all the while, gnawing at the minds of oppositions, feeding off their nightmares as they restlessly sleep before game day, they are tormented by one word: Ennis.

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